I wrote this in 2009 for some sort of Facebook chain letter type thing where I had to type in 25 things about me. 2009 Paul isn’t too different from 2014 Paul. I was probably a little smarter back then, but on the plus side, I HAVE seen Saving Private Ryan since writing this, so…accomplishment!
25 things, the product of the sleep patterns of the elderly
1. Back in the day, while IM’ing several girls that I liked, each on a separate occasion told me how funny I was and that I should do stand up. However, I have crippling, crippling stage fright so thats out of the question. Also I’m very anti-social around people I don’t know. So if I could become a stand-up comedian through intant messaging, I’ll do it.
2. It would probably be a good gimmick. Some might call it “avant garde.”
3. Any big words I use, I’ve learned from comic books.
4. Comic book and pop culture facts have taken over most of the space in my brain. I was a really big history student in high school. I would finish my test first most of the time. Now? I can quote lots of obscure stuff and recommend films and shows that most people still won’t take the time to watch.
5. I like to believe that Robert Altman would have done an amazing superhero film if he ever considered it or had the chance.
6. Scorsese or Coppola, too. Especially Marvel characters. Angst and loneliness all around.
7. Films that people are shocked I’ve never seen: Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, almost any film that was up for an Oscar in the 90s.
8. I never drank in high school and assumed that most of my friends didn’t.
9. I was very naive in high school.
10. Drunk me takes pride in the fact that when I get sick, I never leave a mess. Sober me quietly takes pride in this as well.
11. Cooking relaxes and excites me. Especially when I’m trying out a new recipe for a group of friends. I’d like to have a restaurant someday.
12. Moreso, I’d like to own a movie theater that completely rips off the conecpt of the Alamo Draft House. A theater that shows old, obscure movies as well as new releases, that serves food and beer while you view a film.
13. I think The Wire lives up to the hype.
14. Forrest Gump and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button are the same exact film. 2-3 hours of nostalgia and sentimentality with a gimmicked protagonist. And I was underwhelmed by both.
15. Like most of you did, I had a dream where I could fly as a child. It was so real. I wish I could have that dream again.
16. If I was a billionaire, I would put money into developing an Iron Man-type suit. I wouldn’t really want to fight crime myself, but on the other hand I would worry that the person I gave the suit to would turn evil.
17. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a pro wrestler.
18. I think I’d like to believe in a religion based on Neil Gaiman’s Sandman.
19. I am constantly disappointed by the lack of futuristic stuff that was seen in movies that took place in the 2000s. Where is my flying car, my robot butler, and my suit made of tin foil?
20. Catholic School wasn’t so bad. I didn’t mind wearing the same thing everyday.
21. I’m not good at keeping in touch.
22. I am easily distracted.
23. I don’t think Travis Bickle belongs on the AFI’s top villains list. They should have an anti-hero category. Douches.
24. I love the word “douche.”
25. I use ellipseses and expletives far too much in my writing. The 40 “fucks” Rob removed from the Frank and Barry script can attest to that.